?emevigroF Please.

You1 mean so much to me, and my life isn't the SAME without you.I feel like everything I said means nothing now. I lost your trust and the value that you once saw. I broke just one promise, you broke many. I let you down. I was supposed to be the strong one. I think its you now. I'm happy at least that you are trying to figure it out. I don't even want to think about it. The sad thing is, I feel like its too late for me to do anything about it. I already said and did too many things that created a space between us. How do we mend it?

You2 have been my friend for so long and I let you down too. I just want to say I am so sorry. You are going to find out. I just know it. Please let me be the friend that needs your help this time, just forgive me. Its never IN to break promises, but its always going to be OUT to lie to your friends.

Love both of you guys, I'm sorry I let you down. I really thought I was better than that, but I guess I just wanted to show my self that Im not. I'm probably never going to regain your respect. That makes me more sad than I was when I lost you1, or when you2 choose her over me.

Quote of the day:

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

by Sydney J. Harris

I will regret not telling you how I really feel later if this doesn't end up the way I want it to now, but I think it is better to live and get hurt than, for fear of the hurt to never live. I really believe this, and I want to live and love even if I get hurt.

Brownies

They are pretty tasty. Brownies are my favorite dessert, they are so chocolaty and fudgy. They give me really bad stomach aches though. So my question to ponder this next week is are the brownies worth the pain?

I am back on the outside of the box. Why will they not let me in? Someday, there will be a person who wants to join me on my side of the box. Until then I am alone. Alone is a strange thing to feel. It is like when you zone off into space and your brain goes numb. It is like that but in your heart. Brownies would totally help. After though, when I am in pain everyone will say that it would of been better if I just stayed on my side of the box. Hmmm.

Quote of the day:

Ah me! love can not be cured by herbs.

by Ovid

For you:

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

by Mary Engelbreit

Late Night Bust

Well lately my life has been kinda weird. Beach Vespers was on Friday, that was fun. Actually I really enjoyed it. Even though I missed working on the sand art or whatever you call it. You better keep your pinky promise. -.-. Got it? Dare on the bus ride home was one of the highlights too. That was fun even though I had to kiss Viv. Yuck. I Likes Boy. Then ihop where I muched off of Michelleo. I didn't fall asleep until 12:30 a.m. That is so late for me. Saturday I thought was going to be tons of fun. Yeah lets just say that didn't happen. Viv came over after church and we ate at my grandmas house for lunch. We had to do the dishes. That makes it two times now. So she doesn't hate just you. :P Hannah came to my house to pick us up and we all went to Victoria Gardens, I was the only one who wanted to go apparently so Hannah and Vivien just moped around the stores. We came home at 7:30 and they had this brilliant idea. Not so brilliant, lets leave it at that. Luckily no harm done. Thank you for your support, I needed it that night. I didn't sleep until 1:00 a.m. another late night. Sunday was lame sauce. Today I feel not so good. Its probably from sharing noodles with Hannah maybe next time we shouldn't just leave our chopsticks in the soup. I was really lame today, but my hair looked nice so maybe you will talk to me again. Hopefully.

Quote for the Day:

It is sad and wrong to be so dependent for the life of my life on any human being as I am on you; but I cannot by any force of logic cure myself at this date, when it has become second nature.

by Jane Welsh Carlyle

A little less confusing

just for you. Ok so today there was testing, and it was lame but tomorrow is going to be like way lame-er because the tests are super long. I feel like a noob because this is the second day in a row that I'm posting on blogger, lame. Well lunch was fun, I played tag. Haha. So second grade! Why can't it be as simple as second grade. Life back then was so nice and easy. Beliefs wasn't that bad since Pastor Holm is gone. Drawing class is so funny thanks to Eric making fun of all the freshmen who are like "Can I draw you Heather?" Omg. After school I found out I didn't have a ride. Boo. So I had to sit there like a loner until Hannah was out of labs. Well luckily I wasn't completely a loner. It actually was pretty good talking to you so maybe this won't be so bad after all. You never listen to what I say though. You hear but you don't understand what my words are meaning. You know? I guess friends for now it will be. Since that's what you want.

Quote(s) of the day:

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just had to use this quote since the name just kinda pooped up.

Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.

Swedish proverb

This one is for you, maybe what you need right now is a for real friend.

I guess you get to decide what that means but just choose your friends wisely, there are people who really care about you.

My Galaxy

So yesterday I went to my very first Galaxy game and the Home Depot Center. I went over to Viv's house around 2:30 and we hung out with Jason and Ricky until about 5. Her cousins picked us up and we headed down to watch David Beckham in action! Ha ha. Well it was a great night. The Luxury seating was pretty good too, especially since it was all free. Thanks Viv for taking me!

Lately my life has been a whirlwind of feelings and its been a rollercoaster but from what I learned lastnight and this morning, I will stop trying I guess because it is hopeless if you don't wan't it too.

Quote for the Day:

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few;

and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence.

by George Washington

Confidence lost: it hurt me and now how do I know if any of it was true, or what secrets you will keep.

Fight

So today I got in this fight and it has really been bothering me. How are you supposed to stand up for yourself without offending anyone? Maybe my problem is not standing up for what I believe is truth, but its that I do not like to be wrong. So I am really sorry if I hurt you or seemed disrespectful.

Quote for the day:

Forgiveness is a funny thing, it warms the hearts and cools the sting.

by Peter Allen

The problem with that quote for me is when you have forgiven him, I want the sting to be gone. Not to get worse than it was when it first started. Why do you make it worse every single day. What did I do wrong? Just tell me okay?

New Start

Lately I haven't been myself, that is all going to change starting now. Forget the emotions of the past, look back at the events with love, and push on into the future. That is my goal for now. My quote for the day is:

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back."

So don't waste your life on things you know are only going to hurt your future.

(or the people that love you)

1 more equation

freakin chemistry review + getting ice cream and not comming home right away = very sleepy heather tomorrow*


*will need lots of hugs