that space everyone has

Why are some days better than others? Nothing is changing about my life but me. Why do I feel so frantic lately. I laugh like a crazy person one moment then am super depressed the next. You know? I feel like I am doing too much to handle, but what I am doing is not enough to keep my mind occupied. I haven't healed. I do not think I will either. I'm full but empty. Where are my friends? Just to let you know, you are still my best friend I miss you lots because it doesn't feel like we really connect anymore. I hope its not from all my stupid mistakes.

When I rain, it hurts the sun that is inside
every time I rain it feels like my heart is trying to hide.
Come light me up, fill me again
my new life needs to start, let this life begin.
The sadness inside pours out of my eyes
why every night does my heart want to cry?
So please when I rain, don't bottle my tears
hold me and say ill love you for all my years.

by Heather (me)

Ever just want to turn off the lights and go to sleep forever? Right now it feels like it. What is the point? I'm not making a difference in any ones life. I need to change the world...I'm not doing anything right now.

Goals:

1. Do one or more super nice thing for someone or something.
2. Stay positive, because I owe it to you.
3. Be quiet and think about it/you/everything/me/life.
4. Study SAT (even though walla walla is most likely in my future)
5. Love to the fullest, I'm not going to pretend anymore starting now I will be a better friend.

I love all you guys, no joke. Thank you for being there for me. I say that lots but I really mean that. I feel really not stable right now and I feel like I am spinning in circles and I'm not really sure what is going to happen next. That is making me insane because I'm so type A. Agggh.

Little Help, Little Love, Little Forgiveness, Little Hugging, Lots of you, more of you.